Heal to Feel Real: How to Turn Ouch into Growth Fuel

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“Heal to Feel Real: Lessons bloom where pain once grew. If you focus on the hurt, you’ll keep suffering—but if you focus on the les­son, you’ll heal and grow.”
~ Note to Self Chron­i­cles—TonyBrigmon.com

Ever stepped on a LEGO bare­foot? Then you’ve met pain—one of life’s most per­sis­tent (and cre­ative­ly sadis­tic) teach­ers.

Much like that tiny plas­tic nin­ja lurk­ing in the car­pet, life’s biggest hurts show up unin­vit­ed and unapolo­getic.

A heart­break. A job loss. A betray­al.

They sting. They stew. They linger.

But what hap­pens next? That’s where the real sto­ry begins.

Some of us replay our pain like Melo­dra­ma Mar­cy, drown­ing in emo­tion­al playlists.

Others—like Growth-Mind­ed Kate—dig through the rub­ble for wis­dom and rise stronger.

The dif­fer­ence? Per­spec­tive.

Let’s unpack it.

1. Pain Can Be a Teacher or a Jailor—You Choose

Meet Bit­ter­ness Ben. He worked his tail off for a pro­mo­tion, didn’t get it, and threw him­self a grand ol’ pity par­ty—com­plete with inter­nal mono­logues and imag­i­nary mic drops.

Six months lat­er? Still no pro­mo­tion… and still no growth.

Now, enter Bounce-Back Kate. Same sto­ry, dif­fer­ent sequel.

She asked, “What can I learn from this?” and:

✅ Signed up for a skills course

✅ Built her net­work

✅ Land­ed an even bet­ter role

Les­son? Pain is inevitable. But whether it locks you up or lev­els you up? That’s your call.

2. The Pow­er of Per­spec­tive: What Are You Water­ing?

Imag­ine two gar­dens.

One is over­run with weeds—resent­ment, self-pity, and “why me” vines. The oth­er? Bloom­ing with strength, wis­dom, and resilience.

The dif­fer­ence? The gar­den­er.

If you’re Rumi­na­tion Rick, replay­ing the same old wounds and water­ing them with “shoul­da-woul­da-coul­das,” your garden’s gonna look like a mess.

But if you shift focus—tend to the les­son, not just the loss—you’ll grow some­thing beau­ti­ful.

Next time a hurt resur­faces, don’t flinch.

Ask: What’s this try­ing to teach me?

3. Heal­ing Is a Process, Not a Flip of a Switch

Wouldn’t it be great if we could just hit “delete” on painful mem­o­ries?

Unfor­tu­nate­ly, heal­ing doesn’t work that way. It’s more like a three-step process:

1️⃣ Acknowl­edge the pain – Don’t sweep it under the rug. Feel it.

2️⃣ Find the les­son – What wis­dom can you extract from this?

3️⃣ Move for­ward – Use your new­found knowl­edge as fuel for growth.

It’s not about for­get­ting the pain—it’s about let­ting it help you bloom.

The FUNome­nal™ Finale: What are you water­ing? Weeds or Wis­dom?

✍️ Note to Self: Heal­ing isn’t eras­ing the past. It’s learn­ing from it, so you can bloom where you once broke.

— Con­tent cre­at­ed with human heart & AI assis­tance ✨ —

About Tony Brig­mon

Tony Brig­mon | Speak­er—Emcee | TonyBrigmon.com

Tony Brig­mon is a par­ty ani­mal. He’s been known to stay up well past nine o’clock drink­ing root beer and telling G‑rated jokes. Sure, the neigh­bors com­plain, but that does­n’t stop him. Because Tony is seri­ous about hav­ing fun. Seri­ous fun, with seri­ous results.

As a result of his ques­tion­able spelling skills, Tony learned at an ear­ly age that his name spelled back­ward is “YNOT.” As in, “YNOT take a clos­er look at his book?” Or, “YNOT smile when you should be cry­ing?”

Tony was a South­west Air­lines “Insid­er” and the for­mer “face” of their renowned cul­ture as their offi­cial “Ambas­sador of Fun” dur­ing their Gold­en Era. At South­west Air­lines, “fun” was the pow­er of “pos­i­tiv­i­ty” that helped cat­a­pult a small car­ri­er into a force that changed the air­line indus­try.

Today, Tony is a pop­u­lar speak­er, emcee, and author of The FUNom­e­nal™ Work­place. (FUNom­e­nal™ is pro­nounced the same as phe­nom­e­nal but it’s a lot more FUN.)

For­mer CEO of South­west Air­lines, Howard Put­nam, says, “Tony has a gift for blend­ing fun and cap­tur­ing ideas in a man­ner that sticks for audi­ences.” Tony’s friends say that no one should have so much fun while sober. Tony’s wife said she has had about all the cheer­ful­ness she can stand.

“Fun” trans­formed this author’s work and life. YNOT dis­cov­er if the seri­ous pow­er of fun can trans­form the next 30 sec­onds of your day or 30 years of your life?

YNOT arrange to have Tony Brig­mon teach you and your team how the pow­er of fun can help you get more done, bring out the best in every­one, and make you irre­sistibly attrac­tive in your com­mu­ni­ca­tion with oth­ers. You can do this. So, YNOT?