You’re wired for difficulty. It only works in manual mode, not autopilot. Face it. Push the START button. You can do this. Go.
At the end of the road, there’s always a mirror. The face in the mirror is the source of your problems. Face it for a better road.
You can’t change what you refuse to face. About face. Change what you can. Accept what you can’t. Learn from it. You CAN do this.