Helping others is the fastest way to stop watching the scoreboard.
The Comparison Trap Has a Way Out
The rise by lifting approach sounds simple — help people, grow yourself — but most of us are too caught up in the comparison trap to try it.
Rise by Lifting: The best way to stop others from judging you? Take action! Use what you’re good at to help others, not to compare yourself. Lift, rise higher!
—Tony Brigmon | Note to Self Chronicles | TonyBrigmon.com
That quote isn’t just a feel-good idea. It’s a practical redirect — because “just help people” is both harder and more useful than it sounds.
We’ve all been there: scrolling through a work networking site, watching someone celebrate a win, and feeling that familiar tightness in the chest. They’re doing it. Why aren’t we? Or worse — what if people are watching us the same way, keeping a mental tally of whether we’re measuring up?
That loop is draining. And here’s the thing: judgment only has power when we’re standing still.
The Comparison Trap Is a Full-Time Job
Think about the last time you opened a work networking site. How long before the mental math started? They got promoted. They launched something. They have 10K followers.
This is Mirror Maze mode for your brain. You’re surrounded by warped reflections of everyone else’s progress — each one showing a different version of what success is supposed to look like. So you spin from mirror to mirror, checking every angle, trying to figure out which version of “enough” you’re supposed to be.
The problem is you’re not creating. You’re not growing. Instead, all that energy goes into watching. And watching feels like drive, but it’s really just worry with a to-do list attached.
Here’s the truth: you can’t rise by lifting while you’re busy watching everyone else climb. Comparison isn’t strategy. It’s noise dressed up as research. And the rise by lifting approach asks you to redirect that energy entirely — toward action instead of just watching.
Action Is the Best Armor
So what’s the other option? The quote says it clearly: take action and use what you’re good at to help others.
Notice it doesn’t say “be the best” or “have it all figured out first.” It says use what you’re good at — right now, as-is, imperfect and still in progress. Because here’s what happens when you shift your energy from comparison to help: you stop obsessing over the scorecard because you’re too busy being useful.
Meet Scoreboard Sam — that voice in your head always checking rankings, hitting refresh on metrics, and whispering “but are you winning, though?” Sam isn’t trying to ruin your day. He’s just scared you’ll fall behind.
But Sam never settles. There’s always someone doing more, doing it better, doing it louder. When you help someone work through a problem, though, Sam goes quiet. Not because you’ve “won,” but because you’ve changed the game entirely. You’re no longer playing “who’s ahead.” You’re playing “who can I make this easier for.”
That shift is what the rise by lifting idea is really about. And that shift? It’s a game-changer.
What If You Don’t Think You Have Anything to Offer?
Here’s where the rise by lifting idea gets tricky. The quote assumes you’re ready to own your strengths. But what if you’re stuck in the “am I even good enough to help anyone?” spiral?
This is where Sideline Sidney parks himself and blocks the whole path. Sidney whispers that unless you’re an expert, unless you have the right background, unless you’ve fully solved the problem yourself — you have no business offering guidance. And Sidney, as a result, keeps a lot of good people from ever getting started.
But here’s what Sidney doesn’t want you to know: you don’t have to be the best to be helpful. Being a few steps ahead of someone else is enough. Trying something they haven’t tried yet is enough.
Think of it like a Toolbox Loan. You don’t need every tool ever made. You just need to hand someone the one they’re missing right now. Your story — even the messy, imperfect version — is someone else’s shortcut. That’s the whole bar. That’s it.
Rise by Lifting: The Altitude Is a Side Effect
Here’s what nobody talks about when it comes to the rise by lifting approach: you don’t rise because you’re chasing approval. You rise because helping has its own pull.
When you show up to help often — sharing what you know, marking others’ wins, making yourself useful without keeping score — you build a name for yourself that judgment can’t touch. Not because you’ve silenced the critics, but because you’ve built something more solid: a pattern of real help that speaks louder than any critique.
The people you lifted remember. The problems you helped solve build on each other over time. All that energy you once spent watching the leaderboard now goes toward making things better for someone else. And that altitude? It’s a side effect, not the goal.
So what does this look like in real life? It doesn’t have to be grand or formal or perfectly planned. It can be answering a question in a group chat that you already know the answer to, sharing a tool that saved you hours, or marking a colleague’s win out loud without making it about you.
The goal isn’t to become a full-time mentor overnight. The goal is to get your hands busy helping — even in small ways — so your brain has something useful to focus on instead of the judgment spiral. Because judgment only sticks when you’re standing still. And moving, even a little, changes everything.
Note to Self: The people who rise by lifting aren’t the ones obsessing over their rank. They’re the ones who made themselves useful while everyone else was checking the leaderboard. Your strengths are someone else’s shortcut. Use them.
Your strengths are someone else’s shortcut — use them and rise together.
What’s one thing you should START, STOP, or CONTINUE doing? Do it! You’ll be glad you did.
Now go smile and wave and make someone’s day!
Explore more Note to Self Chronicles at TonyBrigmon.com
— Content created with human heart & AI hands —