Stop Rolling With the Punches You’re Throwing

by

“Nav­i­gat­ing Social Inter­ac­tions: To roll with the punch­es is good—to stop doing things that make peo­ple want to punch you is bet­ter!” ~ Note to Self Chronicles—TonyBrigmon.com

We’ve all heard it: devel­op thick­er skin, don’t take things per­son­al­ly, be resilient. And sure, that’s use­ful advice in a world that won’t always han­dle you gen­tly.

But what if the real prob­lem isn’t that we need bet­ter armor—it’s that we need to put down the weapons we don’t even real­ize we’re car­ry­ing?

The Resilience Trap

Here’s what nobody wants to admit at the din­ner par­ty: some­times the rea­son peo­ple keep react­ing neg­a­tive­ly to us isn’t because they’re over­ly sen­si­tive. It’s because we’re con­sis­tent­ly doing things worth react­ing to.

Think about the friend who always plays dev­il’s advo­cate, then acts wound­ed when peo­ple stop shar­ing opin­ions around them. Or the fam­i­ly mem­ber whose “bru­tal hon­esty” is just bru­tal­i­ty with a per­mis­sion slip.

Or the cowork­er who derails every meet­ing with tan­gents, then com­plains that peo­ple seem dis­tant.

They’re all mas­ters at rolling with the punch­es of being avoid­ed, dis­missed, or con­front­ed. What they haven’t mas­tered is the much hard­er skill: self-aware­ness.

The Com­mon Denom­i­na­tor Prob­lem

If you find your­self in con­stant con­flict, con­stant­ly explain­ing your inten­tions, con­stant­ly feel­ing misunderstood—the uncom­fort­able math sug­gests you might be the com­mon denom­i­na­tor. 

Not because you’re a bad per­son, but because there’s a gap between your impact and your intent.

The plot twist? The peo­ple who move through the world with the most ease aren’t the ones who’ve per­fect­ed their defens­es. They’re the ones who learned to stop start­ing fires.

They ask them­selves: “Am I inter­rupt­ing? Am I mak­ing this about me? Am I solv­ing a prob­lem nobody asked me to solve?”

From Reactive to Proactive

Rolling with the punch­es is reac­tive. It’s dam­age con­trol. The high­er form of social intel­li­gence is proactive—it’s about mod­i­fy­ing your behav­ior before some­one else has to tell you it’s a prob­lem.

This isn’t about becom­ing inau­then­tic or walk­ing on eggshells. It’s about matu­ri­ty. It’s rec­og­niz­ing that “this is just who I am” is some­times code for “I don’t want to do the uncom­fort­able work of exam­in­ing my impact on oth­ers.”

Note to Self: True pow­er does­n’t come from build­ing a bet­ter shield. It comes from being hum­ble enough to ask, “What am I doing that keeps cre­at­ing this same pat­tern?” The answer is usu­al­ly right there, reflect­ed in the faces of the peo­ple around us—if we’re brave enough to look.

The next time you catch your­self prepar­ing to “roll with the punch­es,” pause. Ask instead: am I the one throw­ing them?

— Con­tent cre­at­ed with human heart & AI hands —

About Tony Brig­mon

Tony Brig­mon | Speak­er—Emcee | TonyBrigmon.com

Tony Brig­mon is a par­ty ani­mal. He’s been known to stay up well past nine o’clock drink­ing root beer and telling G‑rated jokes. Sure, the neigh­bors com­plain, but that does­n’t stop him. Because Tony is seri­ous about hav­ing fun. Seri­ous fun, with seri­ous results.

As a result of his ques­tion­able spelling skills, Tony learned at an ear­ly age that his name spelled back­ward is “YNOT.” As in, “YNOT take a clos­er look at his book?” Or, “YNOT smile when you should be cry­ing?”

Tony was a South­west Air­lines “Insid­er” and the for­mer “face” of their renowned cul­ture as their offi­cial “Ambas­sador of Fun” dur­ing their Gold­en Era. At South­west Air­lines, “fun” was the pow­er of “pos­i­tiv­i­ty” that helped cat­a­pult a small car­ri­er into a force that changed the air­line indus­try.

Today, Tony is a pop­u­lar speak­er, emcee, and author of The FUNom­e­nal™ Work­place. (FUNom­e­nal™ is pro­nounced the same as phe­nom­e­nal but it’s a lot more FUN.)

For­mer CEO of South­west Air­lines, Howard Put­nam, says, “Tony has a gift for blend­ing fun and cap­tur­ing ideas in a man­ner that sticks for audi­ences.” Tony’s friends say that no one should have so much fun while sober. Tony’s wife said she has had about all the cheer­ful­ness she can stand.

“Fun” trans­formed this author’s work and life. YNOT dis­cov­er if the seri­ous pow­er of fun can trans­form the next 30 sec­onds of your day or 30 years of your life?

YNOT arrange to have Tony Brig­mon teach you and your team how the pow­er of fun can help you get more done, bring out the best in every­one, and make you irre­sistibly attrac­tive in your com­mu­ni­ca­tion with oth­ers. You can do this. So, YNOT?